Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Time Suck

The Urban Dictionary defines Time Suck as:

Something that's engrossing and addictive, but that keeps you from doing things that are actually important, like earning a living, or eating meals, or caring for your children.

Raise your hand if this has been or is your experience with Derby? Now I'm not saying by any means that derby is not important because it is to all of us whom are involved with it. What I am addressing is the fact that it is utterly time consuming and you find yourself thinking about it day in and day out. The other day my husband told me that I seemed disconnected one evening and I was upset that he had said that but he was right, I was, I was thinking about derby. Derby has this way of consuming your life, your thoughts, your feelings, your relationships, whatever it might be. Is this bad? Not necessarily. For some people, derby has saved them from horrible relationships, allowed them to be healthy, provided them a new family, or even gave them a new lease on life. I think it personally saved a relationship for me and I will be forever grateful for that. We do need to realize though how much it can take over our lives in potentially a negative way and how do we keep it from eating us whole.

I spoke about managing the burn out factor in my previous post, not only must burn out be managed but we also must keep derby from becoming the time suck. We must learn to be present at home when we need to be, focus on other parts of our lives that are important and leave derby at derby as best as we can. Here are some ways to create some balance if you find yourself becoming uberly consumed by derby:

1. Go to practice, skate your heart out, go home.

2. Do your committee work as needed, be efficient and do it right the first time.

3. Do not take on any more then you need to, learn to say no.

4. Check in with your family and non-derby friends to make sure their needs are being met too.

5. Step back every once in awhile and reevaluate Steps 1, 2, 3 and 4.

Anyone who's involved in derby know it's a community and it can change your life for the better. As women, wives, and mothers, we need derby to fulfill our needs and give back what our family cannot necessarily give us. We all need to remember though that there is life outside of derby and we cannot lose focus on that. Drew Barrymore was quoted in an interview (it was also similar to a line in Whip It) saying, "Just because you found a new family doesn't mean you throw away the old, or you can make a new family out there and you can make friends, but don't leave the ones behind that got you to where you are." Good advice Drew, good advice.

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