Just Waiting

On Monday we had tryouts for our teams, to either make the Bombshells, Hellcats or Sirens. I played two seasons on the Bombshells (or All Stars) and then took last season off to have my beautiful Liliana. I stayed active with the league as a coach and one of the main reasons for doing that was I wanted to keep my mental game fresh and to stay in touch with the league, the players and the game. I am now back in full swing (started skating about 5 weeks postpartum), skating up to 3 days a week. I am putting it all out there, on and off the track. I have been doing Yoga every day to build up my core strength, to stretch and lengthen my muscles, to get more fit, improve my agility and become a better derby player all around. I have been sore for almost two weeks now, which makes it a little hard to do what I want while skating but it feels really good to be sore like this and I can already see results from the Yoga in how I'm playing derby.

The day of tryouts I was so anxious, I really did have that feeling of butterflies in my stomach. So many people asked me why I was nervous or told me how silly I was being for feeling that way. Just because I once was a Bombshell and played there for two seasons, doesn't mean I will be placed on that team when I return. That reality was creating the uncontrollable feelings in my stomach that finally subsided once tryouts began.

Today is Saturday and we are waiting for the teams to be posted; we were informed at tryouts it wouldn't be until Monday that they would be finalized. My hopes are to be a Bombshell once again and to play on the WFTDA team for the Santa Cruz Derby Girls. I know that I have to work harder tomorrow than I did today to be at the level I was when I left but I really don't feel that far off. My knowledge and understanding of the game is far greater than it was when I left. My body may not be quite where I once was but that will come along so quickly between practices, lifting weights and doing Yoga. And I may have a lot going on in my life, a full-time job, a part-time job, two kids, a husband and whatever else distracts me from derby but that doesn't mean I want it any less or am going to work any less harder than the person who does not have these responsibilities. I am and always have been a hard working and determined individual who gives my all in all aspects of my life. Derby is no different and I will not be brought down by the naysayers. I may not live for derby, it does not solely define who I am but I am in love with it and will play it and will give it everything I've got as long as I am able.